Mark E.  
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Typical eMail

One of the interesting things to me about grief is how so many people seem to experience similar feelings while grieving.  Yet, we tend to think we are experiencing emotions that others somehow avoid.  I think grieving would be a little easier if we realized what we are feeling is normal.  Following is one of many email I receive:
My feelings are similar to those that you experienced. I am glad you seem to be through the worst, I however cannot see the end of the tunnel but then it is still early days. I too took care of my husband at home and he died with me laid by his side holding him. All I can see is I will probably have to spend another 30 years without him - It is not that I am frightened of being alone or on my own I just want him back he is the one I need and I don't think anyone else could possibly fill that gap - I need him to kiss the tears away and say everything will be OK. I think I would feel guilty if I were to go out with someone else, I still feel like a married lady who adores her husband. I too would never commit suicide but would consider it a favor if something were to happen to cause my death - death does not frighten me in the least, rightly or wrongly I believe we will be reunited. I know life goes on and I know things will get better but right at the moment what I know and what I comprehend are two different things. Thank you for sharing - it helps - especially as there are times I think I am losing my mind. I hate to upset other people by losing it in front of them but sometimes its as if my tears have a mind of there own and there is nothing I can do about it. There isn't even an actual cause to spark them off. My husband died 7 months ago and I actually believed that I was getting much better but it seems over the last couple of weeks that I have got worse, far far worse than the first few months and so these slips seem harder to understand. I know it is a process or so everyone says but believing is another thing. Gosh I am saying things here that I hadn't expected I was just emailing to say how much your story meant to me. I truly hope your future life will be happy and I wish you well


I selected the above email not because it was unique but because it is so typical.  If you are grieving, don't feel like there is something wrong with you if you could have written my story or this email.  You are not along in your feelings.  And although it is hard to believe at times, TIME is the true healer.  As I type this it has been over three years since my lovely wife passed away.  Although I still remember her like it was yesterday, I'm starting to forget the pain of grief.  Time and Faith´┐Ż..

Last modified 4/25/05